Let me school you on a few things about Melissa Lea Jennifer Taylor.
She’s a number one draft pick. A God damn knockout. When lonely old pirates look forlornly out to sea and recall lost treasures, they think of Mel.
Now, let me tell you about her (now) hub, Luke.
He’s a man’s man; a brick with eyes.
He’s got a vice-like grip but a heart as warm as the topping on a McDonald’s super caramel Sundae.
Mel says his cuddles are just as delicious, too.
I believe her.
I’ve known them for a while. Mel for longer. I had the pleasure of marrying her beautiful sister last year. Amazing family. I’ve tried to adopt into it.
No luck as yet.
By the way, really enjoyed my use of ‘forlornly’ back there. That’s what being dux of Year 12 Lit gets you. That’s it, though; I haven’t gotten anything else out of it.
Mel and Luke’s ceremony was a surprise wedding. But it sure as sugar pops and soda bars wasn’t a surprise relationship.
They belong together like green broccoli and pork dumplings on a chilli oil base.
From the moment they chugged back three bottles of wine on their first date it was clear their path was paved with confetti.
Good people have a way of finding each other, don’t they?
They went from tipsy first dates to moving in together to signing the papers in under three years.
During that time there’s been plenty of delicious beers and ultra comfy spoons. Plus a gallon of good stories to boot.
One example is when Mel first met Luke’s niece, Ash, who asked where her and Uncle Luke met.
Mel mentioned ‘Tinder’ under her breath.
Ash, with the type of earnestness only a child can display, responded with; “oh, you mean you met at Kinder?”
Bless her.
The guests were a blast. Laughs aplenty and fist pumps galore.
I didn’t have to do much. The reverence they held for Mel and Luke made for such a spesh 20 minutes.
A huuuge shout-out to one particular guest; Lukey’s grandad John – a World War 2 veteran who looks far, far younger than his 93 years suggest.
Amazing man. A wonderful crowd. And a flawless couple.
Catch you for a pot ‘n’ parm (possibly a spoon) at the Union, Mel and Luke.